


Her Husband's Eyes

by PixelEm



Category: Despicable Me (Movies)
Genre: AU, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Death, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Needs A Hug, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, I Made Myself Cry, I can't get enough of this beautiful family :'), Language, Long, Mild Language, One-Shot, Pain, Past Character Death, Tragedy, post-DM3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 12:21:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21815545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PixelEm/pseuds/PixelEm
Summary: Lucy doesn't recognize her husband's eyes. She has often thought that she can see the entire sky in them – the beautiful sun, the clouds, and the light blue all at once. Except now there isn't a trace of that. Now his eyes fit in well with his newfound permanent scowl and perpetual silence. Where Lucy once saw the sky she now sees a storm.Originally posted on Fanfiction.net.
Relationships: Felonius Gru/Lucy Wilde, Gru Family
Comments: 5
Kudos: 21





	Her Husband's Eyes

Lucy Wilde can’t stop thinking about her husband’s eyes.

Then again, she admits, there is rarely a moment when she _doesn’t_ think about them. Even before they’d started dating Lucy thought about them. Their brightness. Their gorgeous shade of blue. The way they always betray whatever emotion he’s feeling. She finds it impossible not to think about them.

Likewise it is impossible to stop thinking about them now. Lucy just wishes that it’s for a different reason.

Because, as she’s noticed, Gru’s eyes have changed. Much like how the entire house has seemed to change. The place once buzzed with energy; now every room feels drained of any. Rooms like the kitchen and the living room, at one time alive with sounds from her family, now fill with a deafening silence as her girls, her brother-in-law, the Minions, _and_ her husband all go off to do whatever on their own. This is also different; her family does not act like a family anymore. Not like they used to.

Much like how Gru’s eyes do not feel like Gru’s eyes anymore. Lucy doesn’t recognize her husband in them. She has often thought that she can see the entire sky in them – the beautiful sun, the clouds, and the light blue all at once. Except now there isn’t a trace of that. Now his eyes fit in well with his newfound permanent scowl and perpetual silence. Where Lucy once saw the sky she now sees a storm.

The worst part is that she knows what had changed them.

~x~

Lucy wakes up one morning, a few weeks after What Happened, and the other side of the bed is cold. Gru is nowhere in the room, not even hiding in their closet to pop out and make her laugh like so many times before. She quickly gets dressed and heads downstairs, poking her head into each room she passes and only moving on when she confirms with certainty that he’s not in there either.

Eventually Lucy goes into the kitchen, where she finds their three daughters, eating breakfast and finishing homework they’d forgotten about last night. They greet Lucy with smiles and “Good morning”s. Lucy smiles back and kisses them each on the forehead before asking where their father is. Margo and Edith both shake their heads while Agnes frowns at the table. Though these answers do nothing to help ease the tension in Lucy’s chest she tells them in her best soothing voice that she’ll be sure to find him soon so they can take them to school. To reassure them further she pats all three on the head, but as she turns to leave again Lucy notices the look that Margo is giving her. The look that begs for Lucy to help their father. To help Lucy’s own husband. To do to him what they – their entire family – had all failed to do already. Lucy leaves before she can think about that look longer than she wanted to.

After the kitchen for Lucy it’s a no brainer where Gru actually is. She goes to the living room and presses the large button on the arm of the rhinoceros chair, activating one of the house’s many entrances to the underground lab. She steps into the elevator and descends, but not before rubbing her hands together and steeling her nerves first.

The lab is exactly what she expects. Innumerable Minions wander about, carrying different items for different jobs; wrenches, plungers, strips of metal, lines of wires, and the like. Each of them smile and babble a hello as she walks past them. She returns the greetings, though her attention is not with the Minions at all. She glances around as she walks, looking for any sign of a dark scarf or a black coat.

Soon she hears someone say her name; for a brief moment her heart jumps as she believes it’s Gru, but then her brain catches up and processes the voice. She turns and sees Dru approaching, smiling and waving and saying good morning just like the girls and the Minions had. Lucy smiles and shakes his hand and, after a moment, asks in a low voice if he’s seen Gru anywhere.

Though she’d expected this reaction it still kills Lucy when Dru’s face falls. He stares at the ground, shuffling his feet and rubbing up and down his arm. Right when Lucy thinks about asking again Dru points to the other side of the room. Lucy turns to look and she sees _him_.

Gru stands in the far corner, his back facing Lucy and Dru. He has his hands clasped behind his back and his head lowered as if he is staring at his feet. He is so still, almost frozen in place; he only moves when a passing Minion occasionally tugs his scarf to make him look down at them. Even then he doesn’t do much, only responding to the Minion’s questions or statements with a simple nod or head shake before returning to his original position.

Lucy can’t see his eyes from here, though she has a good idea of how they look today.

Lucy bites her lip, but not before thanking Dru first. Dru smiles and tells her that it’s no problem, then clears his throat and begins backing towards the other exit. He explains that he absolutely needs to go now, “villainy business”, as he calls it. Lucy says she understands and then playfully warns him that he should expect to see her later for that. Dru just nods as he leaves, which only makes Lucy’s heart twist even more. She knows the real reason why Dru wants to leave so fast; he can’t stand to stay in the same room as his brother anymore.

Now Lucy bites her lip. After giving herself a rough reminder that she is _not_ Dru, that she came in here with a clear purpose, she then turns around, takes in a breath, and approaches her husband.

He doesn’t seem to hear her coming – then again, Lucy reasons, she doubts anyone can hear anything above the pitter-patter of several hundred tiny shoes on the metal floor. She’s close enough to him now that she could touch him. She’s just about to do just that when she realizes that she recognizes this corner. She _knows_ it. She knows it from the many times Gru had brought her down here; it was such a specific corner. She remembers it being different – she remembers how it looked before What Happened –

Lucy taps Gru’s shoulder before she can think further.

“Hey, big guy.”

He lifts his head when he hears her voice. He turns, looking at her. In turn, Lucy looks at him. At his face.

It’s in the same expression as it has been for the past few weeks. Relaxed, collected, with his mouth pulled into a fine line, neither frowning nor smiling. But, just as always, what gets Lucy are his eyes: still storming, still muted.

He looks up and down her face with those eyes, taking in her small smile and slight head tilt. Then he turns back to the corner. He mutters, “…Morning, sweetie…”

Lucy tries not to fixate on how soft his voice sounds and clears her throat. “…It’s almost eight o’clock, honey,” she says, looping her arm into his, “Time to get the girls to school. Then it’s off to work again for us. Another day, another mission.” She tilts her head further, shooting him a sly look. “You ready to whoop Dru’s butt again today? _Every _villain’s butt?”

She hopes that it will squeeze at least a chuckle out of him. It doesn’t. Instead, Gru just nods slowly, saying “Okay, let’s go,” as he pushes past her, out of that corner.

Lucy’s smile disappears as she watches him enter the elevator. A couple of Minions stop as they pass by it, waving and bidding him good luck in Minionese. He ignores them. He stares at something only he can see in the air, acknowledging Lucy only by scooching away an inch to make room for her in the elevator.

And as they ascend Lucy prays for today to be different. She prays that she will see her husband smile today. She prays that they will communicate often during the day’s mission, exchanging playful banter about each other’s performances. She prays that, when they come home, Gru won’t just greet their girls with just pats on the heads and a light “Hello dears”. She prays that, instead, he will get on his knees and give all three of them the tightest hugs they’d ever received, eager to know how their days at school were and answering their ensuing questions about how his and Lucy’s work was. She prays that everything will be just as it had been before What Happened. That he’ll be okay today.

He doesn’t.

~x~

“Lucy?”

“What?” Lucy jolts awake, having been dozing off with her head in her palm. It’s two nights later, and Valerie da Vinci had decided earlier that day to give Gru and Lucy a much harder mission, one that did not require any adrenaline or weaponry apart from a pencil: paperwork. Gru had gone to bed early; for once it wasn’t his idea but Lucy’s. She’d insisted that he get an early night, that she could cover his paperwork for him no trouble. _“It’s the least I can do for him,”_ she’d reasoned, _“Especially with what he’s been going through lately…”_ Of course, the work took far longer than Lucy had anticipated; she’d begun her own at about seven in the evening and had only just started on Gru’s at ten forty-five, a mere fifteen minutes ago.

But right now the work in front of her on the dining table is the last thing on her mind. All she can focus on is her oldest daughter, standing right next to her, rapidly tapping Lucy’s arm to gain her attention.

“Margo, what’s up?” Lucy asks, turning towards her, “What’re you doing out of bed?” The arm tapping confuses Lucy; she’d expect it more from Edith or Agnes, from one of her younger and less mature daughters. And yet here she is, tapping Lucy’s arm and making her mother’s stomach churn with her facial expression – knitted brows, lip chewing, wide and shining eyes.

“Margo?” Lucy repeats, setting down her pencil, “What’s wrong? Are you hurt? Is it a girl problem? Are you– ?”

“It’s Agnes,” Margo answers, cutting her off. She appears even more worried now, twiddling with a strand of her let-down hair as she glances over at the door. “She… I’ve been doing my best but… she’s so upset, she can’t stop– ”

Lucy doesn’t stay long enough to listen to Margo any more. She leaps from her seat and dashes for the door into the hall, all notions of paperwork completely forgotten.

She doesn’t stop rushing until she’s right outside the girls’ bedroom, Margo following close behind. Before she even opens the door she can hear it – that muffled wailing sound – and cold dread creeps into every fiber in her bones.

Lucy pushes the door open and pokes her head in. The light from the hall spills out into the room, spotlighting what she’d feared. Little Agnes sits in the middle of the floor, her knees pulled up to her chest and her hands pressed to her face as she cries a waterfall. Both Kyle and Lucky surround her, nuzzling her and making respective whining and bleating noises. Edith sits behind her, one arm pulling her younger sister close to her, the other lightly stroking her head in a desperate attempt to calm her down. Once she notices the light Edith looks up; she sees Lucy and a glint of relief shines in her eyes.

“Agnes!” Lucy exclaims, flipping the bedroom’s light switch on. She opens the door further and steps in just as Margo does. “Agnes, sweetie, what’s wrong? Why’re you…?”

“She just started crying again,” Edith explains, scooching backwards to make room for Margo, who wraps her own arms around Agnes. She is just as worried as her older sister, her eyes almost begging Lucy to help the situation. “I– I tried to help her, but she just– ”

“Agnes, why’re you crying?” Lucy unintentionally interrupts her daughter. She shuts the door behind her and kneels in front of the three, reaching out a hand to stroke Agnes’s head just as Edith had done. “Agnes, honey, please…”

Agnes, who has her face buried in Margo’s chest, sniffs and pulls away long enough to look up at Lucy. Another arrow flies through Lucy’s heart upon seeing her youngest’s reddened eyes and tear-stained cheeks. Agnes stares at her for a few moments, then, her face crumpling, she lets out a cry and throws herself onto Lucy’s lap. Lucy can feel Agnes shaking as she pulls her closer, nuzzling her tiny head and rubbing up and down her back.

“Ssh, Agnes, it’s okay…” she soothes, “It’s okay now, I’m here…”

Agnes doesn’t respond and buries her face further into her mother’s dress.

As she comforts her Lucy looks to Margo and Edith, both now standing up and sharing concerned glances. They notice Lucy’s look.

“She was dreaming again,” Margo says in a low voice, “She told me, she just can’t stop thinking about– ” She cuts herself off here, her eyes suddenly darting towards the ground. She tucks some hair behind her ear, swallowing hard as if she were about to start weeping herself. It’s enough to make that stabbing dread return to Lucy’s body.

“Oh no…” Lucy whispers, her arms tightening around Agnes.

Edith nods and completes Margo’s sentence for her. “She says she just can’t stop thinking about…” She gives her younger sister another quick glance before finally saying what Lucy has been suspecting since the kitchen.

“….she can’t stop thinking about _Nefario_…”

This entire time Agnes’s weeping had quieted to muffled dry sobbing. Now, as soon as that name leaves Edith’s mouth and hangs in the air, she lets out a guttural wail all over again. She clutches Lucy’s dress now, soaking it with her next wave of tears. Lucy only holds her tighter in response.

“H-Hey, Agnes…” Lucy whispers, “It’s okay… it’s really okay… it was just a dream…”

“…H-H-He…” Agnes stutters into Lucy’s stomach, her voice trembling, “…I-I-I… I-I s-s-saw… I-I saw…”

“No, Agnes, it’s okay,” Margo says, approaching and putting her own hand on Agnes’s back. “We… We all miss him. It’s okay.”

“I-I-I want _Gru_!” Agnes wails, pushing away to stare up at Lucy. “Where is he? Why doesn’t he play with us anymore? I-I miss him Lucy… I m-miss…”

But Lucy has long since tuned her out. That very first sentence – _I want _Gru – had sent her mind swiftly elsewhere.

She returns just as fast, lifting Agnes to her chest this time, kissing her forehead and nuzzling into her hair. She keeps telling Agnes that she’s okay everything will be okay it was just a dream you don’t have to worry anymore. Then Margo and Edith join in, each standing on Lucy’s either side as they initiate a group hug. Soon Kyle and Lucky are doing their bests to help as well, with Kyle pawing at Agnes’s back while Lucky hops up and licks her tears away. Lucy does everything she can. She loses track of how long they keep up the embrace. She sends her husband a telepathic message – _“Gru you effing idiot get down here this instant”_ – though she knows it won’t work. He’s probably asleep. If he’s not asleep then he just can’t hear her. He won’t. He hasn’t been able to hear her since What Happened; why would he suddenly start _now?_

Eventually, perhaps an eon later, Lucy finally feels Agnes relaxing, convincing her to do the same. She clears her throat, which makes Margo and Edith and the pets all step back to give her more room. Lucy lifts her head, staring down at her youngest daughter.

“…Agnes?” Lucy asks, using her best motherly voice, “You feeling better now?”

Agnes sniffles once, wiping her eyes. But, much to Lucy’s relief, she nods. “…I-I’m okay now…” she mumbles. She sniffs again, and then looks up at Lucy with a small smile. “…T-Thanks, Mom…”

Lucy’s heart melts in response. “Hey, it’s no problem kiddo,” she replies, tousling Agnes’s ponytail slightly, “You ready to go back to bed?”

Though she hesitates at first Agnes tells Lucy yes. After kissing her on the head Lucy places her back in her bed, unable to resist a smile as she watches Kyle and Lucky crawl back in with her. Before she can head back out Agnes asks her if Gru will be okay. The question makes Lucy squirm, though after a brief hesitation she answers with, “Oh… I’m sure he’ll be fine, sweetie. We all will. Things can only get better from here, yeah?”

She waits in the room for a few moments; when she’s certain that Agnes has fallen asleep again, she bids all three of them a quick goodnight and leaves the room. Once she’s shut the door, however, Lucy lets out a sigh. She rubs her eyes, stifling a groan when she remembers the rest of Gru’s paperwork she needs to finish. She turns around to head back to the kitchen, but then stops with a flinch.

Margo stands in front of her, her head down, her arms folded over her chest. Lucy hadn’t even noticed her sneak past her.

“Um… Margo?” Lucy asks, “Why’re you…?”

“Gru would’ve done the same thing.”

The sentence sends an icy tremor through Lucy’s body. “…What?”

“...Before he met you Gru would do that all the time,” Margo elaborates, her voice sharp and rough, “What you just did. Whenever Agnes cried. Whenever any of us started crying. He’d stay with us until we were okay. He told us we were okay because he was there to help. Whenever we needed him, he said. He still does it now. Exactly like you just did.”

As she listens Lucy struggles to understand the point of this information. Then, in a split second, she gets it. The realization makes her freeze.

“Oh… Oh Margo, I didn’t– ”

“He didn’t care about himself… He only cared if _we_ were okay…” The longer she talks the more strained Margo’s voice sounds. She switches arms to cross, and Lucy catches her left hand gripping her nightgown sleeve as if she wants to rip it off. “...I-It… He always came running like he thought we were on fire… not just having a nightmare… or just crying…”

“Margo, sweetie…” Lucy kneels in front of her eldest, reaching out and lightly touching her cheek. “Come on, we’re just going through some rough times, it won’t be– ”

Then Lucy’s breath caught in her throat when Margo looked up at her. She spotted the tears swimming in her eldest’s eyes and, without thinking, pulled her in and held her tight, just as she’d done with Agnes.

In between muffled sobs Margo tells Lucy that she doesn’t know what to do. Lucy doesn’t voice her agreement. Because what sort of mother would do such a thing? Instead, she continues to hold Margo, her mind going back to Agnes, to Nefario, to What Happened, and – most of all – back to Gru.

~x~

“I just… I just don’t recognize him anymore,” Dru tells Lucy a few mornings later over coffee. A few moments ago Lucy had been sitting on her own in this kitchen, looking over some last-minute papers. Gru had volunteered as soon as he’d woken up that he’d drive the girls to school; he hadn’t reacted when Lucy said that she was fine with that. So she had most of the house to herself that morning – she isn’t sure if she likes it – and took to the kitchen for coffee and a quiet spot to finish some work before Dru walked in thirty minutes later. When Lucy asked why he’d come in, Dru simply replied that it was getting lonely down in the lab. Lucy didn’t bother mentioning how strange it was to be lonely with so many Minions surrounding him each day and just set to pouring him his own cup. They made a bit of small talk, mostly about how each other had been doing as of late, with some lighthearted banter about how likely it would be for Lucy to totally whoop him in his planned heist later that week.

Then, after a brief period of silence, Dru frowns, stares down into his mug, and mumbles _that._ A statement that makes Lucy’s heart drop.

Though she knows immediately what he means Lucy still says, “…Wh-What? What did you say?”

Dru purses his lips and shakes his head. “It’s just… he’s so different now… he doesn’t talk to me anymore… he doesn’t even look like he has any fun anymore when he catches me, and…and…” Here, Dru winces. He props his elbow onto the table and rests his cheek on it. He still doesn’t look at her. “…I don’t know… it just… it feels like I don’t exist to him anymore…”

Lucy bites her tongue to stop herself from blurting out _“Me too”._ She takes a moment, then says “Well… it can’t go on for much longer. He’s gonna come around sometime. He always does. I know he does.” She smiles and reaches out, giving Dru’s arm a light pat. “I’m sure everything will be fine. Don’t worry.”

As she says it Lucy wants to vomit. She can taste how fake the words are, wonders if Dru can see right through her optimistic guise.

Dru’s gaze flickers to her hand, still lingering on his arm, and he heaves a sigh. He shakes her off and leans back, running a hand through his hair. As he looks to the nearby window Lucy realizes how different _his_ eyes are now as well. Instead of his usual playful energy they now carry perpetual worry. When they don’t carry worry they just appear empty, as if all their liveliness had been stolen from them. They’ve changed – maybe not as severely as Gru’s, but still. They’ve changed.

Dru watches the window, drumming his fingers against the table. After a few more seconds of silence he fills it with his own voice.

“…How much longer is he going to stay like that? I want to help him, but… I just don’t know what to do. I can’t get close to him anymore. He won’t talk to anyone. Whenever I see him he just looks… I don’t know. He doesn’t look the same.” The longer he talks the more childlike Dru’s tone becomes, innocent and naïve. “And now, it’s just…”

Here Dru averts his eyes, lowering his head. Lucy waits for him to continue. When he doesn’t she clears her throat, shuffling her papers together as she looks at her watch.

Before she can say anything though Dru stands up, pushing away his mug. “I should get going,” he tells her, still refusing to meet her gaze, “Villain stuff. Can’t keep the Minions waiting. I’ll see you later, Lucy.” With that, he abandons his half-drunk coffee and makes his way towards the door that lead to the living room.

He’s just about to enter the doorframe when Lucy all of a sudden stands and says “Dru, wait.”

He does. He turns around and looks at her, his eyes betraying his curiosity.

Lucy thinks about what to say. Each variation sounds imperfect, too much of _something_ – too optimistic, too pessimistic, too unreal, too harsh, too fantastical – until she finally settles on one.

“It’s… I know what’s going on with Gru,” she tells Dru, approaching him, “I know it’s going to take a lot of time for him to… be okay with this. But… I’m sure he’ll be fine eventually. It’s really hard for him, y’know? Gru really cared about him. He’d been working with him for such a long time… but he’s sure to come around. I know it.”

She smiles at him now as she adds, “Don’t worry about him, Dru. Everything’ll be okay. I promise.”

Dru studies her face as he listens, taking her words in. Then he shrugs, mumbling an “…Okay…” as he leaves the kitchen.

Then Lucy’s smile fades yet again. As she watches him leave she can’t help noticing everything else unusual about him: his quiet voice, his insistence on avoiding eye contact, his newfound habit of walking with his head down, his hands behind his back – his body language reflected his eyes. It’s changed. He’s changed.

Lucy can’t stop thinking about that. She thinks about it for the entire day, even during her and Gru’s mission. She scolds herself for it, demands that she heed her own advice and stop worrying and then fails. She can’t help it. Everything in her life is changing; it’s fruitless to try not to take note of it.

That night as they lie in bed Lucy tells Gru that she needs to go downstairs to grab a book. He gives her a wordless answer. She goes, bypassing the living room bookcase and opening the hatch that leads to the basement lab.

She finds Dru in his and the Minions’ bedroom, curled up into a ball on his bed with his back facing Lucy. She would assume that he’s asleep apart from his trembling and the trio of Minions – two on the floor, one sitting next to him – each taking turns rubbing his back and murmuring in Minionese as if they are speaking to a child. Lucy approaches, shooing the Minions away and touching Dru’s shoulder. He starts, then turns around, revealing his tearstained face and red-rimmed eyes.

“I-I just… H-He… I just _miss him_…” Dru cries as Lucy wipes his cheeks, “I-I-I… I… I miss my brother, L-Lucy… I-I _miss him_…”

“Dru, come on, calm down,” Lucy soothes, doing her best to keep her own voice level, “It’s okay, he’s not going anywhere, he’s just–”

“Yes he _is_…. He-He _is_ gone… H-He’s so different, that he… he… he might as well b-be… g-_gone_…”

“Dru, I know you’re upset, but please just calm down. I told you not to wo– ”

“But I _can’t stop worrying_!” Dru stands and grips her arms, making her flinch. He looks her straight in her eyes; a fresh wave of tears glimmers in his. “_You_ can’t stop, nobody can stop! I-I can’t stand to see him like this, Lucy… H-He’s just… I-I c-can’t…”

Lucy pulls him into a hug as he chokes on his words. He holds her as if she is a life preserver, shuddering into her shoulder. When he finally speaks again he’s quiet, so much so that Lucy needs to strain her ears to actually hear him:

“…Wh-Wh-What… What are we supposed to do….?”

Lucy has no answer. She hasn’t had an answer to that question since it first popped into her own head, when she first noticed the storm clouds roiling in her husband’s eyes. She doesn’t bother fabricating an answer. She just continues holding Dru, letting him cry until he runs out of tears. She hears a couple of Minions sniffling, some shuffling over and wrapping their arms around either her or Dru’s legs. It seems to relax Dru. Just a little.

When she finally leaves Dru and heads back into her own bedroom Gru is fast asleep, on his back with one hand on his chest. As she makes her way under the covers she can’t help staring at him. On the surface he looks the same as he’s ever been, the mirror image of the man that Lucy first fell in love with two and a half years ago. Yet Lucy knows how far that statement is to the truth. She’s seen him upset. She’s seen him angry and grouchy. She’s seen all edges of him. Not one of them was ever this extreme. He was never this mute before. He was never this asocial before. If any of his family were upset before – be it her, his daughters, his brother, or even the Minions – he sensed it like a psychic, arriving at their sides with whatever help he could give before they could even call for him. Not like now. It isn’t that Lucy doesn’t understand. She understands completely. She knows What Happened to make him act this way. She saw What Happened with her own eyes. She saw what it did to him. She can’t be mad at him for changing like this. Because she gets it. The one thing she doesn’t get, doesn’t understand, is how to help him. She knows she’d give anything to help him, anything to bring him back from the pit he’s thrown himself into. But what can she do? He’s not the girls. He’s not Dru. He’s most certainly not his little yellow henchmen. Lucy can look at them and know in an instant how to help. When she looks at Gru – trapped in _this_ state – her is mind always a blank wall. She’s known this since she first looked into his eyes after What Happened – helping her husband like this, she has no idea. Not even an inkling. So she goes on with her days, left only with a meager hope that things will get better soon.

~x~

Four days later Lucy still knows that she has no idea how to help her husband. She’d never assumed that anyone else would get one.

“Hey, let’s all watch a movie tonight!”

Agnes breaks the evening silence with it, startling Lucy out of the book she has her nose in. She’s sitting on the couch, still retaining some semblance of her Saturday routine. Agnes sits in the middle of the floor with Margo, both engrossed in the board game they have set up between them. Until Agnes snaps out of her concentration to say _that_.

Lucy immediately suspects that her youngest had planned to say it at this exact moment in time. What on earth were the chances that she’d say it right now, on accident, right as Gru walks in from the kitchen?

Lucy’s heart jumps as she glances at her husband. He’d been staring at his feet when he’d stepped in; now, upon hearing Agnes’s suggestion, he freezes in his tracks and looks up. Lucy studies his face, trying to glimpse any sort of shift in his expression. Nothing. She checks his eyes; still storming. It’s as if he’d never heard Agnes at all. Somehow that only scares Lucy more.

“Oh yeah, that’s a great idea Agnes!” Dru, who’s been sitting on a cushion on the floor next to Edith for the past half hour, quietly playing videogames with her, suddenly turns around and smiles at his youngest niece. It’s the first genuine smile Lucy has seen on him since What Happened. “It’s a great night for that! I’d love to watch a movie with you girls!”

Margo, who’d seemed just as shocked by Agnes’s suggestion as Lucy is, drops that shock and smiles and nods. “Yeah, actually… I wouldn’t mind doing that tonight. That sounds fun!”

Agnes beams at all the praise her idea is getting. “Yeah!” she says, standing up and waddling over to the DVD shelf next to the TV, “And I know just the movie for the whole _family_!”

Lucy has been suspecting Agnes’s purpose for this idea ever since she’d first shattered the tranquil atmosphere with it. Now, after hearing that last word come out of Agnes’s mouth, with a jolt in her chest she considers those suspicions fact.

Lucy checks Gru again.

He hasn’t reacted to any of the conversation. He keeps looking out into space, paying his daughter no notice. It’s like they don’t exist to him. Like the world in his head keeping him hostage.

“Gru?”

He finally reacts, glancing down at little Agnes, now standing on her tiptoes in front of him, a DVD case in one hand and the end of Gru’s scarf in her other.

Once she notices that she finally has her father’s attention Agnes releases Gru’s scarf and settles back down on her heels. Using both hands she holds up the DVD case. She looks up at him with large, expectant eyes.

“Please, Gru?” she asks, “It’s one of your favorites. You love watching it with us.”

As if Agnes had never made Lucy’s heart explode enough already. Except this time, after coming back together, her heart twists until it feels like a boulder in her chest.

Gru stares down at Agnes, his expression still unchanged. He blinks once. A muscle jumps in his cheek.

Then, at last, he speaks.

“…Ehh, not tonight, sweetheart. Not with me. I’m a bit busy. You go and watch with Lucy. Maybe another time.”

He begins walking to the other side of the room before he can even see the disappointment fill Agnes’s eyes.

Lucy’s hands tighten around her book.

Dru’s face falls at the same time Agnes’s does. “Eh… you sure, brother?” he pipes up, “’Cause… you’ve been working really hard lately, don’t you think you need time to– ?”

“I _do_ have wind-down time. I have it every day. It’s just not with all of you,” Gru answers, not bothering to look at his brother as he says it. He is almost to the door now. He doesn’t look back to see the effect his words have on his family. Margo’s face falls just as Agnes’s had, and she takes her younger sister’s hand to guide her back to their board game. Edith’s frown deepens as she turns her attention back to the game onscreen, already going back to smashing enemies in some alternative universe. Dru shakes his head as he settles back down to rejoin her. He is as silent as the living room, as silent as it’s ever been –

“And just _where_ do you have this down-time?”

– until the moment when Lucy leaps from her spot on the couch, making each of her family flinch and look at her upon hearing her sharp tone.

Gru has his hand on the doorknob, the door half-open. He brings it back, closer to his chest. He slowly turns around, fixing his indifferent gaze onto Lucy.

She is standing as if ready to sprint. Both of her hands are at her sides, curled into tight fists that turn her knuckles white. She’s clenching her teeth, pressing her lips into a fine line to keep herself from screaming. Her brows are furrowed, and though she can’t see them, she knows her eyes are burning.

For a long time no one says anything. Edith has paused the game again, removing the noise that it provided. Margo, Agnes, Edith, and Dru are all rigid, looking with wide eyes from Lucy to Gru, Gru to Lucy. They all appear to be holding their breaths, waiting like a nervous crowd to see who will make the next move.

Gru stares at Lucy, looking her up and down. After a few more moments of deafening silence he tries “…Lucy– ”

“Where do you keep going every night?” Lucy demands, “When you’re not working or in bed? Where are you going? What could possibly be more important out there than staying here with us? Can you answer that for me?”

Gru blinks, his eyebrows rising slightly. Lucy is amazed that she got _that _much of a reaction out of him. Then Gru’s gaze darts to the carpet, his brows returning to their original position.

“…Lucy…” he says in that same flat voice he’s been using for a month now, “…I just really need to be alone right now– ”

“You _never_ like to be alone,” Lucy spits, jabbing an accusing finger at him, “Why are you starting now? What is possibly more important to you than being with your family?”

At this, Dru lets out a gasp. He immediately slaps a hand to his mouth as if to shove it back in, but of course it’s too late.

Gru is furrowing his brows now. For the first time since What Happened his expression changes. His face hardens. A bolt of lightning sparks in those clouds in his eyes.

“…Don’t…” His voice is rough, low, and harsh. “…Don’t… Don’t you _dare_ think dat anything is more important– ”

“You’re never around anymore! And _don’t_ tell me you’re just going through a rough time. We all know, but we want to help you! You _know_ we can help you! So why are you always to desperate to get away from us?”

Gru begins marching up to Lucy, his motions sharp and quick. “Don’t you dare think that… What the _hell_ gives you dat idea…?”

The girls, who’ve been sensing the tension since Lucy first opened her mouth, are now huddled behind Dru, each of them looking between their parents with wide eyes. Dru is standing, his arms held out as if to protect them, though he appears just as fearful as them. He bites his lip and shakes his head at Lucy. She ignores him.

“What _else_ could’ve given me that idea, Gru? Anything except your constant absence?” Lucy stomps up to meet Gru in the middle of the living room, stopping only when she’s inches away from him. “You _know_ you need help. You _know_ we miss you.”

When Gru speaks next it’s through gritted teeth. “…I’m not avoiding you– ”

“Then why do you keep disappearing?” Lucy demands, her voice growing louder, “Why do you keep trying to get away from the people who care about you the most? Huh? You _know_ we can help you, Gru! There’s no excuse for you to just– !”

“_Excuse_?” Gru says the word like he’s physically disgusted by it. He stands taller, his voice rising to match Lucy’s. “You think– you think this is all an _excuse_? You think I want to feel like this all the time? You think I _want_ to keep avoiding you all because I can’t stand for you all to see me like dis?”

“I wouldn’t call it an excuse if you just came out and talked to us! You know you need us! And we need _you_ just as much! You can’t keep disappearing Gru! You can’t just– ”

“You don’t know _anything_ about how I’m feeling!” Gru growls, jabbing a finger at Lucy, “You can’t help me! How are _you_ supposed to know how dis feels!? How _any of dis feels_!?”

“B-Brother…” Lucy hears Dru pipe up. “P-Please, just ca– ”

“If you just told us how you’re feeling we wouldn’t need to have this conversation! This isn’t healthy, Gru! It’s just _not_! You’re not– !”

“Did _you_ work with him for forty-three years!? Did he have_ you_ to look at whenever he thought he vas a failure!?”

“Uncle Dru, I’m scared…”

“Brother, y-you’re not– ”

“How the _hell_ do you know how dis feels!?”

“I would know if you just told me! Not just run away like some goddam coward!”

One husband shouting.

One wife shouting back.

One brother, uncle, brother-in-law begging for them to stop it.

Three young daughters silently, mentally begging.

Six pairs of eyes. Four pairs filled with terror. One filled with frustration. One crackling with thunder.

Then the electric bolt comes down.

“SHUT UP!”

The noise dies. Silence fills the room. Dru flinches, taking two steps backwards with the girls. Lucy only takes one step back.

Gru stands there, his shoulders rising and falling with his rough breaths. His hands are pulled up to his chest, curled into tight fists. He looks from his wife to his brother. Then to his girls.

“…I…” He then looks down at his hands, observing them before letting them drop back to his sides. Though his tone is softer and his face has relaxed slightly the storm in his eyes still rages. “…I… All of you, just… I just need to be alone…. Please, leave me alone…”

Then, before anyone can protest, he is out of the room.

Lucy stares after him. Her mind reels from everything that just happened. Then she stands straighter, her brows furrowing once more.

She hears Dru say her name. She hears the girls call out for her. But she’s already storming out the door.

~x~

Lucy stabs every step as she heads upstairs. She quickens her pace, refusing to slow down even by a margin. Once her heel catches on the carpet and trips her, making her hiss, though she quickly gets up and continues on her way.

She keeps up her relentless pace even when at the top of the staircase. She slams her bedroom door open, enters, and then slams it shut again. She marches up to the window and places her hands on either sides of her face, pushing her nails into her temples. She grinds her teeth together to hold in a scream.

Then, when she finally feels like she could dig into her brain at this rate, she takes her hands and slams them onto the windowsill. She squeezes her eyes shut. A dry sob escapes her.

She waits. For something. Someone. She doesn’t know. Maybe her daughters. Maybe her brother-in-law. Maybe those overgrown tic-tacs. Maybe even her husband. She doesn’t care. She just waits for anyone to show up.

When no one does, she remembers. She remembers What Happened.

What Happened:

It was exactly one month and two weeks and a half ago. Exactly three weeks and four days after they had turned Balthazar Bratt in to the AVL. She and Gru were agents again. Dru had moved in with the Minions. The Minions assisted both their old boss and their new friend. The girls had each called her “Mom” at least once. Things couldn’t have been better. But, like always, there was one way it could’ve been better.

Because, as Gru had kept pointing out, Dr. Nefario wasn’t around. He was still trapped in carbonite. He was still sitting in that little corner in the lab, his hands reaching out of the frozen block as if he were reaching out for help.

Several days after the incident with the AVL Lucy found Gru in the lab with him. She’d burst down the door, so full of her usual energy, and then when she saw her husband there all that energy died. He stood in front of his old friend, staring up at him. Lucy always walked up beside him and squeezed his arm or patted his shoulder, saying that it was okay or she understood how he was feeling. Then she always smiled at him and told him that they would find a way to get him out of it one day, he’ll see. Gru would nod or give his own half-smile. His eyes were always a bit clouded, though Lucy always detected a small hint of hope in them as well.

As the days went by Lucy began to taste the ingenuity in her own optimism. The more she looked at Nefario, the more she looked at Gru looking at Nefario, she began to wonder if getting him out of that block would even be possible. The Minions had done everything in their power to unfreeze him; none of it had worked. Not even close. As much as it killed her to think it – as much as it killed her to look at _Gru_ as she was thinking it – she figured with a sharp pang that maybe, just maybe, Nefario might stay in there till the end of times.

So, when she stood in the lab alongside her husband and the rest of her family, waiting with a held breath for the Minions to finally set him free with the new machine they’d built, she wanted to slap herself for ever thinking that.

It’d happened during a Friday night, a “family movie night”, as Dru had put it. Lucy had sat down between Gru and Dru. Each of them had a girl sitting either on their lap or right next to them; Gru with Margo, Lucy with Agnes, and Dru with Edith. It was Margo’s turn to choose a film, and she had chosen Star Wars, the chronological sixth installment. When Lucy sat down that night, she had expected to laugh and comment and just have a good time with her family, just like every Friday night. Then Princess Leia freed Han Solo from his frozen prison. His _carbonite_ prison. And once he was out, though a bit agitated, he was well. Alive.

Lucy remembers feeling her breath catch in her throat as she watched the scene. It might’ve just been her imagination running rampant, but she doesn’t care. She knows what was happening that night. She knows that everyone around her – her husband especially – had been thinking the same thing.

Later on, as the movie progressed, Agnes snapped Lucy out of her reverie by turning to Gru and asking in a quiet, innocent voice, “Hey Gru? Do you think we can unfreeze Dr. Nefario like that?”

Gru turned his head to face her. He looked at her for a few moments, his eyes wide with thought. Then, his lips twitched into a smile.

“Ehh… maybe, sweetheart,” he whispered, “We’ll have to see.”

And as he turned his attention back to Star Wars Lucy’s own attention stayed fixed on him. She looked him up and down; Agnes’s suggestion had changed him. His eyes were brighter, he sat up straighter, and Lucy couldn’t help noticing that faint smile on his lips. She remembers waiting for it to fade. It didn’t.

For the rest of the night Lucy couldn’t focus on the film at all. Her mind kept going back to that look on Gru’s face. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen that dawning, hopeful realization spreading across his face. She definitely hadn’t seen it recently.

After the film ended and she, Gru, the girls, and Dru had each retreated to their bedrooms, Gru asked her to wait a moment, he needed to quickly take care of something, and that he would be right back. Lucy had nodded, but once he left, she couldn’t resist the nagging urge and headed downstairs.

She followed him down, into the living room, down the hatch that lead into the lab. She watched from the doorway as Gru gathered a small group of Minions together, asking them to pass on to the others tomorrow what he was about to tell them. As she watched Lucy couldn’t help smiling at Gru’s wide-eyed, giddy excitement as he explained his plan.

They would unfreeze Nefario. They would build a machine in five days’ time, perhaps a week’s time, whose sole purpose was to melt carbonite. They would research how to break down the material, how to unfreeze a trapped soul without harming the soul himself. They would shut down most other operations to build it. They would have it as soon as possible. Then, as soon as possible, they’d have Nefario back. The Minions would have their boss back. The girls would have their grandfather figure back. And – perhaps most importantly – Gru would have his oldest friend back.

Lucy will never forget that expression on Gru’s face. That raw, unflinching hope.

Work on the machine began the next day. While Gru and Lucy chased down criminals and brought them to justice, the Minions worked their little fingers to the bone down in the lab. While the girls listened to teachers lecturing and played with their friends during recess, the Minions scrounged every piece of industrial material and wiring they could find. While Dru snuck around the city searching for new artifacts to steal (and then put back when he saw his brother coming), the Minions searched the internet for information on carbonite, how it’s atomically structured, how to alchemize it, and most of all, how to melt it. Every time Lucy joined Gru to check on them they never seemed to tire from the effort; if anything they always appeared more energetic than ever, putting every ounce of their effort into building the machine. It warmed Lucy’s heart to see such a reaction in the little henchmen. Just as it warmed her heart when Gru first told the girls about the plan – they’d each squealed and hugged their father, joining him in his untethered joy.

Gru’s predictions had been correct. After just five days the Minions had a finished product. It wasn’t quite like what had happened in Star Wars but, after listening to Gru’s rough translation of the Minions’ explanation on how it functioned, Lucy knew it would work.

She knew how happy it was going to make her family. She knew how happy it was going to make _her_.

That evening Lucy stood next to Gru in the lab, watching the Minions as they moved the machine and Dr. Nefario into place. The girls were clustered around their legs, and Dru stood off to the side with some of the Minions. Lucy found it adorable how they were all there; once Nefario was free, the very first thing he would see would be his family. They’d welcome him back after so long. He’d be amazed, pleasantly surprised, but definitely mostly happy. Happy that his family had missed him so much. Happy that he could finally see them again.

Lucy had to cross one leg over the other to hide her bouncing excitement. She knew the others felt the same; she could hear the girls talking to each other in hushed voices, and when she looked at Dru he had a huge grin on his face, rubbing his hands together in anticipation.

(Lucy still remembers her surge of warmth at seeing that. Though he’d never met him before Dru was still just as excited to see the professor as his brother. She realized fast that it was probably _because_ of his brother that he was so excited.)

But, just as usual, Lucy knew that no one could match Gru’s excitement. It showed in his speech, in his body language, in his face, and even in his eyes. Lucy looked at his eyes as he watched the Minions set up the machine; they seemed to glow with hope now, like a sunbeam coming down after an entire day of downpour.

When the Minions finally completed their preparations and asked the family to step back, Lucy felt her heart sing like she was a little girl at her birthday party. She watched the little henchmen input commands into the machine, watched them angle the ray protruding from its top so it faced Dr. Nefario. She felt Gru grab her hand and squeeze; she squeezed back just as hard.

The next couple of moments fly by like a blur in Lucy’s mind. She remembers the click of a flipped switch. The unintelligible shout of a Minion. Then, a sudden rush of heat as a beam shot forth from the ray, shining down on Nefario’s petrified body. She had to shut her eyes to stop them from stinging. Then she heard a thud, and Gru’s grip tightened around her hand.

She opened her eyes just in time to see Gru and the girls rushing up to the bottom of the carbonite block, where a short, white and flesh-colored lump sat in a heap. Nefario. She couldn’t resist her creeping smile as Gru laughed, picking up his old friend by the shoulders and yelling heartily about how much he missed him. The girls laughed as well. They said how much _they_ missed him. For a long time Lucy just stood there, taking in how happy they were to see the old man again. Soon she realized that Dru had walked up to stand beside her. He glanced at her, clapping his hands together, a wide smile splitting his face in two. She remembers him saying how happy he was for his brother. She remembers herself agreeing with him, saying that she’d never seen Gru _this_ happy before then.

She also remembers the shift. When the light turned to gray, and then to stormy black.

She first noticed it when the room went silent.

All of a sudden Gru and the girls stopped laughing. They cut themselves off, as if their voices had just been yanked out of their bodies. Gru, sitting down, had Nefario in his arms to hug him, though he didn’t say anything anymore. Nefario didn’t say anything either. Lucy’s smile began to fade when she noticed the girls backing away. Then Agnes suddenly grabbed Margo’s shirt, and that’s when Lucy knew that something was up.

She swallowed hard and approached. She heard Dru and the Minions do the same, muttering amongst themselves. She lightly patted Margo’s arm, making her whip around. Edith and Agnes turned around just as quick. Lucy saw the expressions on their faces – knitted brows, wide eyes, biting lips, and, for Agnes, eyes glistening with the beginnings of tears – and the question of what was wrong died in her throat.

Her heart heavying in her chest, Lucy turned her attention to Gru.

“Nefario?” He kept repeating his name, shaking him and jostling his shoulders. “Ehh… Nefario? It’s me, Gru. You remember?” Lucy couldn’t see his face – either of their faces – and somehow Gru’s tone left nothing for her imagination. It sounded confused yet hopeful, concerned yet sincere. Lucy just couldn’t decipher any emotion from it, “Y-You’re out of dhe carbonite, Doctor! We got you out! Y-You’re okay now!” And when on Earth was the last time she’d ever heard Gru _stutter?_

Gru stopped for a few moments, making the entire lab so quiet Lucy could hear her heartbeat in her ears. Then he brought Nefario away from his body, pressed a single hand to the old man’s chest.

When Lucy heard his sharp intake of breath her stomach plummeted.

_Oh God,_ she remembers thinking. _Oh… Oh God…_

Another beat. Dru let out a gasp. The thousand Minions behind Lucy followed suit.

_Oh no_

She covered her mouth and took a step back.

_Oh God no_

She barely noticed the girls shuffling to her side over her own thundering heart.

_ Oh please God no please don’t let this be true_

“…Lucy?”

Gru slowly turned his head to look at her. He still had Nefario in his arms, still had his hand over where his heart would be. And when he had his eyes on Lucy…

Lucy still shudders when she remembers what happened next. She knows she will never forget that look on Gru’s face. That look in his eyes. She knows she will never forget it, not even after she’s dead and on her way to the afterlife.

Because when he looked at her he’d changed. He’d shifted. He looked like he’d just seen a ghost, his brows high on his head and his breaths coming out in short, shallow puffs. He stared at Lucy with those _different _eyes – _those_ clouds, the ones bursting with thunder, the ones Lucy has seen every day since that moment, were just starting to roil.

“…Lucy…” Gru repeated, his voice small and rough, “…Take dhe girls. Get out of here. Now.”

He didn’t have to ask her twice.

Lucy remembers what happened next as one long continuous scene: she grabbed the girls by their hands, she bolted out the door, she heard Dru follow after Gru snapped at him, she listened to her heart pounding in her ears and to Gru roaring at the Minions to go away.

By the time they made it back to living room Agnes had burst into tears. Margo and Edith both had their arms around her, and all three of them looked to Lucy as if she had an answer to this situation. Kyle, who’d been napping on the couch all afternoon, hopped down and rushed to Agnes’s side and whined at seeing her so upset. Dru paced up and down the room, running his fingers through his hair and mumbling to himself. Lucy threw her arms around her daughters and started to tell them that everything would be okay – _everything _must_ be okay_ – when Gru burst into the room.

He looked to Lucy with _those_ eyes again; dark clouds were swarming in them then, warning of a later destructive downpour.

She stood up and he grabbed her shoulders. He looked her in the eye and said they needed to call a doctor. A hospital. Right now.

The ambulance showed up fifteen minutes later. Dru took care of the girls as best as he could in the living room while Lucy stood with Gru by the front door, waiting for the nurses to finish checking on Nefario. When they finally loaded him into the vehicle on a stretcher one of the nurses turned to Gru and said with a sorry frown that he feared that they were too late, that they were afraid there was really nothing they could do now. Lucy had to dig her nails into Gru’s shoulder to keep him from biting the nurse’s head off. The next day the hospital called Gru and Lucy in. They went. A doctor took them into his office and, looking just as apologetic as the nurse from yesterday, explained what Lucy had realized with a shaking heart that day they’d unfrozen Nefario.

Dr. Joseph Albert Nefario was dead. He’d died sometime between last week’s Monday and Thursday. They weren’t exactly sure. When they’d arrived to take him his heart had long-since stopped beating. Four days after this meeting Lucy would read the autopsy they’d produced. The carbonite had cut off his oxygen supply. He hadn’t received any sustenance in three weeks. To go along with this, the man had been eighty-seven years old. He’d died in the carbonite two days after Lucy and Gru had turned in Balthazar Bratt. He’d died while Gru was staring up at his frozen body, wishing with every fiber of his being that he could someday talk to him again.

That afternoon when Lucy told the girls what happened they’d all cried. Margo and Agnes both burst into immediate tears while Edith, though she insisted she wasn’t, still sniffled and tried to hide her eyes under her hat. Lucy pulled all three of them into her arms and choked down her own tears. It took her forever to remember that Gru was standing just behind her, watching the entire ordeal. He’d grown so quiet it’d been near impossible to remember him.

As soon as she did remember him he was already walking away. She called after him. He didn’t stop. Lucy left the girls with Dru in the living room and chased after her husband. She followed him into the hallway and down into the lab. She found him in _that_ corner, the corner where Nefario stood in carbonite for so many days – the one Gru still stood motionless in for hours even today – facing away from her, his hands behind his back, his head so low she imagined his chin touched his chest. The Minions all turned to Lucy. Their concerned expressions mirrored her own.

Lucy called to Gru. He didn’t respond. She called out again, her voice breaking slightly. Nothing. Then, on her third try, when she finally began to push past the Minions so she could reach him, he whipped around with a sharp “What?” that made Lucy stop in her tracks.

She can still remember her body stiffening in that moment. She still remembers the icy bolt that snaked down her spine as she stared at her husband. She stared straight into his eyes. _Those_ eyes. And for the first time she saw the storm. The pure, unfiltered torment. It cut straight through her, demanding every facet of her attention.

It managed to make her forget everything she’d planned. She’d planned to come down here and take care of him like she took care of the girls – she’d dealt with grieving people before, she’d seen them all the time, especially during her younger days. Surely she could deal with her own husband’s grief. But now, after seeing it reflected in his eyes like that, after witnessing his behavior becoming like a far cry from what she was used to seeing from him, she didn’t believe she could help him using her usual method. At least not right then. So she nodded, backing into the door, telling Gru that she understood, he needed some time alone, she’d see him later for dinner, she loved him so much. He didn’t respond as she left.

They didn’t hold a funeral. Gru never brought it up, and Lucy never mentioned it to him. Nefario had never had that many friends, and Lucy had discovered after talking to the old man a few times that most of his family had either passed away or cut ties with him after he’d chosen the villain path. And that was the other thing; Nefario had been an ex-villain, just like Gru. Lucy doubted anyone would want to organize a funeral for someone who’d once led a life of crime (and had even once gone back to it for a short time). But, most of all, Lucy didn’t think Gru would be able to handle it. Not after that look he gave her. So she kept her mouth shut about it.

Life flew by. Lucy and Gru took the next day off from work, using “family troubles” as their justification (Lucy knew that _he_ certainly needed it more than she did). The girls stayed home for a few days for the same reasons. Even Dru took a break from his faux villainy; he insisted that he “couldn’t just leave his brother to grieve alone”. The Minions petered around the house more often, doing the girls’ chores for them and always asking if there was anything else they could do for the family. Lucy even remembered one instance where, as she sat in bed with her book one evening, on her own due to Gru spending the night in Nefario’s corner, a short, bald Minion stood on her bedside table and held up a lamp for her. She’d found it rather sweet; she’d just wished the circumstances could’ve been different. And everything _was_ different. Life changed. Everything changed.

But from that day until now Lucy was thinking mostly of how her husband changed. She was thinking of how to switch him back, how to make him smile and see the brighter side for once like she’d always done. But now, after something so monumental and tragic, Lucy couldn’t imagine how any of that would work now. He wasn’t speaking, he barely looked at anyone, he didn’t even want to be around anyone but himself. Even the others eventually stopped trying to get to him. The girls often asked if he wanted to play with them; after an entire week of head shakes and soft “Not right now, sweetheart”s they just played with each other or alone in their room. Dru hovered around him for the first week, always asking if he needed anything or if he wanted to do something fun later; in time, after realizing that those questions only got him either a glare or a snap to leave him alone, Dru did just that and kept his distance. Though she understood them the changes still upset Lucy. Sometimes she felt the weight of it all – Nefario’s death, and the destructive aftermath – and it made her want to scream. Then the sadness turned to frustration. She couldn’t stand seeing Gru so sad. So unresponsive. So _not him._ So the frustration pushed through. It reached the front of her mind and took her over, widening the distance between her and her husband.

Lucy opens her eyes, snapping out of the memories. She stares out the window, at the darkening sky, at the sun that’s just disappeared behind the horizon. Then she bangs her forehead against the glass, biting down on her wrist to hold in the sob in her throat. She hates tonight. She hates that she yelled at him. She hates what’s happened to Gru and she hates what’s happened to her family, she hates that death exists, she hates that it took Nefario before he could say goodbye, she hates death for taking him at all, then she hates Nefario for dying, she hates him for making Gru like this, then she hates herself for hating him and she hates herself for never figuring out how to help Gru sooner and now she’s crying dammit Lucy just stop it just stop goddam crying

“Lucy?”

She turns.

Dru stands in the doorway, half of his body obscured by the door. He knits his brow. “Ehm… Are you…? Are you okay?”

Lucy sighs, stepping back from the window. “…’mfine…” she mumbles as she wipes her eyes, “…I-I was just… I… I-I’m fine….”

“Ehm… Lucy, you don’t look fine.” Dru lets himself in the rest of the way, shutting the door behind him. He approaches her. “And you were really… you… I’ve never seen you get so angry, and– oh, Lucy, please don’t cry– ”

“I’m not crying! I’m just– I-It’s not– ” Another sob interrupts her, and she takes that as her cue to give up. She hangs her head, letting the tears stream down her cheeks. She feels Dru wrap his arms around her, and she returns the gesture, shuddering into his shoulder.

“…I-I just didn’t… I-I didn’t kn-know that– th-that… G-_God_, I was just… I was just so _mad_…”

“I-It’s… I-It’s okay, Lucy…” She can hear the waver in Dru’s voice. “Y-You… You were just trying to… It’s really oka– ”

“Oh, can you please stop saying that?” Lucy wrenches away from him now, her prior frustration returning. “It’s not okay! Didn’t you see what happened back there? I tried to get to him but I _didn’t!_ I couldn’t! I did the worst thing possible to him!”

“Eh– L-Lucy, please calm down,” Dru says, holding his hands out as if to keep her at bay, “It-‘s… It’s really okay, you were just trying to he– ”

“Well I _didn’t_ help, did I!?” she cries, making Dru flinch. She jabs a finger at herself. “_I _only made it worse! _I_ couldn’t think clearly! _I_ wasn’t thinking about _him_ at all! I was just thinking about how much I missed him! How badly I wanted him back! How badly I wanted him to come back to you and the girls and me and I just– !”

She stumbles over her words now, which seems to snap her back to reality. Dru still has his hands out, though now Lucy notices how much further away he is from her. She sees him biting his lip, sees his widened eyes, and she groans, pinching the bridge of her nose. She walks backwards and sits on the bed, mattress springs audibly compressing under her weight.

“…Sorry…” Lucy mutters, staring down at her clasped hands, “…I just… I was just… I was so _frustrated_… I was just tired of seeing him run away from us… We should be able to help him! He _knows_ that! He loves us to pieces, he should be coming _to_ us! We can help him…!” Her voice trails off as she thinks. She then sighs again, burying her face in her hands.

“…Some help_ I_ was… I didn’t even realize how _un_helpful I was… I just put him through even more hell… he probably hates me now…”

“Lucy…”

She hears Dru plop down next to her. She feels his arm wrap around her shoulders.

“Lucy, Gru would never hate you,” he says, “I know that. He’d never hate any of us. You just said it, he loves us so, so much. He… He’s just going through a tough time right now– ”

Lucy scoffs, cutting him off. “…Feels like I should’ve known that. But I _didn’t_… I should’ve… I should’ve never said _anything…_ and– and even if he doesn’t hate me, he definitely won’t want to sleep next to me tonight…” She brings her legs up and crosses her arms on her knees. She shuts her eyes and rests her forehead on her arms, feeling a fresh wave of tears rise in her throat.

“…Not after what I said to him…”

“Lucy?”

Lucy’s head springs right back up. That wasn’t Dru’s voice. It could’ve never been him. She looks.

The door is cracked open again; this time her three daughters stand within the doorframe, peeking in. Their facial expressions mirror Dru’s when he first entered.

“…It…It’s alright, girls,” Lucy says, wiping her eyes. She stands at the same time Dru does. She gives her daughters a small smile as they shuffle into the room, one after the other. “It’s okay now. Really. I’m sorry you had to hear us yell like that.”

Margo shrugs, staring at the carpet. “…It’s okay, Lucy,” she says in a quiet voice, “It’s fine. We just wanted to see if _you_ were okay.”

Lucy frowns. “…Honey, what’s wrong?” she asks, bending down to sit on her knees. She reaches out and places a hand on Margo’s shoulder. “It’s over. It’s okay now.”

“N-No, I know, it’s just…” Here Margo winces, folding her arms. She still refuses to make eye contact with her mother. “…I think you just scared us.”

“Oh, Margo, I know, and I’m sorry…” Lucy puts on another reassuring grin as she rubs Margo’s shoulder. She looks to Edith, who is now much closer to her sister than before, and does the same to her shoulder. “But… you guys know me and Gru would never fight like that if it wasn’t serious, right? You know we’re still okay, right?”

Edith does as Margo does and looks at the floor. She crosses her own arms, scuffing a shoe across the carpet. “…Gru’s never yelled at anyone like that, though…” Her quiet voice is even more uncharacteristic of her than Margo’s. “…He’s never been like that before…”

“Oh no, it’s okay Edith. Your dad’s just going through some… rough times.” Lucy wants to slap herself upon saying it, but she forces herself to keep going. “He’s just… it’ll be fine. He’ll come around. He just needs to– ”

“Lucy, you keep _saying_ that.”

Lucy stops. Margo is finally looking up at her, but her brows are furrowed into a disbelieving expression.

“…You keep _saying_ it’ll be okay. You keep _saying_ Gru will come around. You keep _saying_ things will be okay. But they’re _not_.” Margo’s voice breaks as she speaks, as if straining to keep the tears in. “_That_ wasn’t okay. Gru’s not okay. _You’re_ not okay. You’re just _not_. _Nothing_’s been okay since… since…”

She swallows hard, averting her gaze once again. She sniffs, drags her hand across her nose, and Lucy just barely catches the beginnings of tears in her eldest’s eyes.

“…Nefario _died_…” Margo finishes, her voice near inaudible now, “…Nothing’s okay…”

Lucy reels. She wracks her brain for a response and unearths nothing. What else could she say to that? What could possibly make her daughter smile when she just made it clear that she found the situation hopeless?

Lucy sits there for a few more beats, waiting for an answer to come to her. A quick answer, one that could fix this whole mess in one fell swoop. When she still can’t find anything she gives up. It’s fruitless. Margo had just taught her that. As much as it kills her, she admits it – there is no bright side to this. Not now.

The least she can do is take the edge off of it all.

Lucy leans forwards, enveloping Margo and Edith into her arms and giving them the tightest hug she could. They return the embrace, pulling at her dress and burying their faces in her chest. Agnes soon joins in, wriggling her way in between her sisters. Lucy scolds herself for ever forgetting about her, wonders how she could’ve done that, and loosens her grip slightly to accommodate her. She rubs up and down each of their backs, taking meticulous care to make her movements soothing. Like a true mom. Lucy shuts her eyes, feeling the tears sneak past her lids and slide down her cheeks once again. Eventually she hears Dru approach, settling down next to her and putting his arms around them all.

Despite everything that’s happened Lucy almost wants to laugh. It’s a strange feeling, though she still feels it. Somehow. Even with all that she knows – that Nefario is dead, that her daughters watched their parents fight, that her husband might never recover from this pain – somehow being in her family’s arms makes her feel like she could live through that. It makes her feel like, despite all that Margo just said, all that she just finished telling herself – _“there is no silver lining”_ – there might just be a brighter side.

“…sorry, Lucy…”

Lucy almost doesn’t catch the tiny voice. She leans back, and Margo and Edith break up the hug further by stepping backwards.

Agnes sits in Lucy’s lap, following her sisters and looking away from her mother. Instead she stares down at what’s in her hands – a unicorn plushie, Lucy realizes, the same unicorn that she and Gru bought for her to replace the large fluffy one she loved so much. She stares down at its stitched face with a solemn look in her eyes, twisting one of its ears in her tiny hand.

“…I’m sorry about the movie, Lucy…” Agnes mumbles “…I thought he would want to watch it with us… cause he loves watching movies with us… I just wanted to help…”

“Oh, sweetheart, I know,” Lucy says, stroking the back of her youngest’s head. She smiles despite her tears. “And you did your best. That’s what counts. It was a great idea, Agnes, you couldn’t have done better.”

Then, however, Lucy feels her smile fade away again. She lifts Agnes from her lap to the floor, sighing as she stands up.

“…But…” Lucy winces, folding her arms and digging her fingertips into her skin. “…I think you were the most help we had, Agnes… now that I’ve ruined it…”

“Lucy, don’t say that,” Dru pipes up, reminding Lucy of his presence. He places a hand on her shoulder, leaning forwards to look her in the eyes. “You were just upset. You wanted to get in to him, and… it was just an accident. I’m sure you can talk to Gru tomorrow, I’m sure you can still help him.”

Lucy shoots him an annoyed glance. “Didn’t you hear _anything_ that we just said?” she demands, “I _couldn’t_ help him. I don’t even think I know _how_ to help him. _That’s_ why I’m so mad. I thought a few weeks ago I could help him, but so far nothing works. He always leaves before I can even try. I can’t get in to him no matter what. He’s too far gone.”

“Well– _something_ has to work! It has to! You always say to look on the brighter side! We just need to find it! We can try again tomorrow, after he calms down, maybe you can catch him and talk to him and– ”

“And what? Listen to him say nothing until he tells us to go away?” Lucy can’t stop herself from sneering a little. “It won’t work, Dru. Nothing works. I literally just said, I’ve got absolutely _no clue_ how to help him. No idea. I keep trying to help him, I… I want to help him so badly, because I can’t stand seeing him so sad, but I don’t know _shit_…”

Dru flinches at her cursing – just like the girls do, Lucy sees out of the corner of her eye – though he keeps going, never taking his hand off of her shoulder. “Ehhm… well… maybe it’s more complicated than that. I’ve only known my brother for a little bit, but I know he’s never been that upset before. I just know it. There needs to be some other way to cheer him up, maybe you just can’t see it– ”

For the third time that evening someone is at the door. Rapid-fire knocking cuts Dru off, snapping his, Lucy’s, and the girls’ attention to the newcomers.

For a brief, heart-stopping moment Lucy actually believes its Gru. Then the door opens and three Minions step in, not bothering to ask if they are even allowed. Lucy almost turns her frustration onto them until she notices their wild, worry-filled eyes; then, her frustration disappears, and a sharp stone drops to the pit of her gut.

Dru rushes up to the trio first, like a parent who’s just seen their child walk in with a scraped knee “Hey, eh… M-Mel, guys, what’s going on? What’s wrong?”

The Minion at the front of the group, the one with only one eye and sporting a receding hairline – Mel, Lucy reminds herself, that’s definitely Mel – he stammers, then clears his throat and begins explaining something in Minionese. The other two join in, motioning with their hands and creating sound effects during some of Mel’s pauses.

Though it’s still mostly just babble to Lucy, Dru appears to understand every word of it. “Yes… Yeah? Really? But… why did he…?”

Then Dru gasps, loud enough to make the three shut up. He backs up, shaking his head. “…Wait a minute… so he’s…?”

Mel nods urgently. “_Si!”_ he cries, waving his arms about. He runs to the window beside the bed, jumping up and down and pointing at the glass.

“El es de l'extérieur!” Mel continues, “Ele está lá fora! Onegaishimasu, aide le! Il se fait mal! _Onegaishimasu_!”

At this Dru bolts to the window, peering through the glass. Mel keeps speaking in that same rushed tone, and Lucy stands by, unsure of what to do. Then she hears Mel say the word “Gru”. Then she’s at the window too, pushing Dru aside so she can press her own face against the glass.

She finds what she’s looking for at the same time that Dru goes rigid beside her and mutters “Oh no…”

Gru is in the backyard, beside the tree that sat smack dab in the middle of the area, the same tree that the girls had given them an impromptu honeymoon those several months ago. He stands directly next to the tree, facing it, keeping his left hand gripped to the trunk.

Lucy catches him beating his right hand into the rough bark one last time before she’s racing out the door.

~x~

“Gru!” Lucy bursts through the door to the backyard, slamming the doorknob into the drywall as she does so. “Gru! _Gru_!” Breathless, she runs out onto the grass, already completely prepared to pry her husband’s hands from the tree trunk.

“…Gru?”

It’s like he’s vanished. He isn’t punching the tree like Lucy had expected to see. He isn’t anywhere in the yard. Lucy walks forward, turning all around for any sign of a large shadow or broad figure.

“…Gru?” she calls, her voice far quieter than it had been, “Gru, you out here? Honey, where did you– ?”

Then she looks back at the tree, at its leaves and twigs.

“…Oh…”

She sees him up there, sitting right in the middle of the thickest branch. He sits so motionless, and his black jacket blends into his darkened surroundings so much that Lucy could’ve mistaken him for part of the tree. But even in the dark, Lucy can still see his lowered head and slumped shoulders.

He’s stopped beating the tree. He isn’t hurting himself anymore. That should be enough of a reassurance. She should just leave him, he’ll come back to the house in time. But, instead of heading back, Lucy heads straight towards the tree.

He’s been alone for far too long lately. Like she is about to leave him like that for one more second.

Lucy digs her fingertips into the bark and heaves herself up. She grabs the nearest branch and, using it as leverage, climbs onto the Gru’s branch. There’s enough room between him and the trunk for her to sit down. She does, smoothing down her dress as she does so.

Lucy waits for him to react. She waits for him to look at her or say something or bark at her to tell him what she wants. He does nothing. He doesn’t do so much as scooch away to make more room for her.

Lucy looks down at her hands, currently sitting clasped in her lap. After taking in a quiet breath, she glances at her husband.

He stares down at something in the yard, something that apparently only he can see. There isn’t a trace of fury left in his face, though that does nothing to calm Lucy’s nerves. She checks his eyes; she really can’t tell if the storm is still there. She imagines it must still be there, yet she believes she can spy something else swirling in his eyes. It is dulling them even further, making his expression near unreadable.

Almost against her will, Lucy glances down at his hands.

They’re clasped together, just like Lucy’s are. Even though she can mostly just see his left hand, when she tilts her head she can barely see his right. And when she does just that to check it, Lucy’s stomach churns. The skin on his knuckles is broken, crusted red from scraping them on the tree bark. It’s only a small section of his hand, though Lucy imagines that the injury extends far past where she can see. He was punching the tree hard enough to make that happen.

Lucy’s mind goes right back to their argument from earlier and she bites back a wince. She looks back at her own hands. They are now squeezing each other, making her nails dig into her palms.

The silence continues, the only sounds coming from chirping crickets and the yipping dog a few blocks away. Then, after she tells herself that she could lose her mind listening to the nothing any longer, Lucy breaks it by clearing her throat.

“Um… hey, honey,” she says, “I… just wanted to check on you. You feeling okay?”

Gru doesn’t respond. Not that Lucy is expecting him to.

“…That got a little, uh… got a little out of control back there, didn’t it?”

“…” Gru says.

Lucy bites the inside of her lip. “…Do you, uh… do you want to talk about anything? Want to go over what happened? See if we can fix it?”

“…”

“…Yeah. Okay.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…Gru, I’m sorry I yelled at you. Seriously, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have even thought about doing that, I should’ve seen how much you were going through. I was just being stupid, I should’ve just… Anyway, _I’m _not the point. You are. I’m so, sorry about what happened Gru, I really am, we all just wanted you to– ”

“Lucy.”

It shuts her up immediately. Though she’d been longing for just a word from him this entire time, the word she finally got only makes that chill from earlier return to her spinal cord.

“…Lucy…” Gru repeats in that same rough tone. He still refuses to look at her, though he lightly shakes his head as he continues speaking, “…Lucy, I… I really don’t want to talk right now… please?”

Lucy swallows hard, looking her husband up and down. She longs to keep going. She longs to keep apologizing, to spill her heart out in front of him and amend their living room argument. But then she reminds herself that, if she does do that, she’d be just as bad as she was back in the living room. So she nods, averting her gaze and looking instead to the night sky, to the stars that have long-since begun settling into their places.

As much as she doesn’t want it to, her mind keeps going back to Gru’s hand. The blood she saw on his knuckles. What he’d been doing to turn them that way. How she could’ve prevented him from doing it at all.

It makes her think back to What Happened. To everything after What Happened. To the walls he kept putting up whenever his family so much as looked at him. He wouldn’t say anything, not even how he was feeling. He’d held everything in. He’d refused to let any of it out.

Then, she realizes, it had all come out earlier that evening. The most emotion he’d shown in a month, and it was out of defensive rage. But it hadn’t stopped even after he’d stormed out of the room. He’d needed to let more of it out. So he’d come out here…

Lucy feels the guilt return, this time forming an arrow and flying through her chest.

She wonders if he feels exactly like how his hand looks. Broken, cut up. Even when it heals there will always be a scar. It might never stop hurting.

“…Did I ever tell you about how Nefario and I started working together?”

Lucy snaps back to attention. She turns to Gru, her mouth feeling like sandpaper.

He still isn’t looking at her. He’s still staring at the grass below, still refusing to move an inch. It’s like he hasn’t spoken at all.

Then, after a few more beats of silence, he glances at her.

“…Well?” he asks quietly, “Did I tell you?”

“…Uh…” Lucy finally finds her voice and sits straighter, clearing her throat. “…N-No, I… I don’t think so. And if you did then I forgot.”

The corners of Gru’s mouth twitch upwards. “Mm…” He averts his eyes once again, looking down at the ground like he’s been doing this entire time. “…If I did tell you then_ I_ forgot, too…”

Lucy tries to calm herself – _He’s TALKING. He’s actually TALKING._ – and then scooches closer to him. She hesitates for a beat, then places a tentative hand on his shoulder.

“…Could you remind me, please?” she asks.

It takes him a moment. Then he nods.

“…It wasn’t dhe first time I’d ever seen him. I’d seen him loads before. I first saw him in dhe flesh when I vas eight. It vas at a Villain-Con. He vas just so… I loved how _cool_ he vas. He actually built my freeze ray. He vas showcasing it at dat Con and I just loved it. Let me have it ‘cause he thought I vas a ‘Good Kid’…”

Gru chuckles at the memory as if reliving it in his head. Lucy wants to laugh with him, but before she can join in he continues his story.

“I saw him again when I vas ten. I was at school, it vas at a science fair, and of course nobody liked what _I _had. It didn’t make any sense to me – I had a model volcano with real lava! I thought I vas the coolest kid dere! But of course no one so much as looked at it. But Nefario… Nefario vas dhere. He saw my volcano. He was dhe only person dhere who talked to me about it. He vas the only person who talked to me at all.”

Lucy reels a little from what she’s hearing. She realizes she never really did hear this story before. She takes mental snapshots of Gru’s face as he tells it – he’s actually _smiling_ – just to ensure she’ll never forget it.

“…We really started working together while I vas in high school,” Gru continues, “I’d been keeping in touch with him since that science fair, and every weekend I told my mom I vas at a friend’s house so I could sneak off and go see the Doctor. He gave me tips on my own inventions, and he helped me work on a lot of my weapons. Dhen he told me dat he recognized me from a Villain-Con. Said he wanted to join me as his villain partner…”

Gru finally moves again, this time glancing upwards at the pitch-black sky just as Lucy had a few moments ago.

“…he vas the only one who didn’t look at me like I vas a freak…” he says, his voice wavering, “…I… he vas my best friend for so long, and… he vas the closest thing to a dad I’ve ever had…”

Lucy’s heart shatters. “Oh, Gru…”

Right as she says it, just as she was expecting, Gru’s smile begins to fade. He lowers his head again, letting out a sigh. He takes a moment, then bites his lip, shuts his eyes, and presses both hands to his face.

“…I just… I just can’t believe he’s gone…”

Lucy didn’t think it was possible for someone’s heart to hurt this much.

“Oh, sweetie…” she soothes, wrapping her arms around his shoulders now. She leans her head against his, choking back tears before she keeps talking. “I… I’m so sorry, Gru… I had no idea you loved him so much…”

She can feel him shake his head.

“…I-It… It’s not just dat…” he mumbles into his hands, “…I just wish I could have _done something_… he– he died two days after we got back, Lucy! We could have got him out sooner! We– We could’ve said goodbye! B-But instead– He– He just– ”

He cuts himself off abruptly. Lucy feels him shuddering as he tries to hold it in. She rubs his shoulder in response, nuzzles the side of his face.

“…I’m sorry Gru…” She can’t stop the tremble in her own voice. “…I-If… I-I had no idea… I… I should never have– If I had known, I would have told– !”

“I-I-I vas just…” Gru winces into his hands now, like it physically hurts to speak. “…I vas just so _angry_… I didn’t want to think about him… I couldn’t stop thinking about how I could’ve stopped it… I just wanted to go back and save him… S-So… D-Dat’s why I’ve been avoiding you all… it vas just… everything just….” He stammers, unable to find the word.

“…hurt,” Lucy finishes for him, “…Everything hurt. You didn’t know what to do, did you? So you shut yourself out.”

Gru hesitates, then nods slowly. He sighs again, and Lucy hears a slap of fabric. It takes her a moment to realize that he’d dropped his hands into his lap.

Her heart pounding, Lucy leans back and looks at his face.

He’s turned towards her. His cheeks glisten with tears and his brows are knitted. The storm in his eyes has passed. Instead there’s a single cloud, releasing a heavy downpour.

“…I should never have done dat…” he says, his breath coming in shallow heaves, “…I-I don’t know what I vas thinking, I vas just… _I’m_ the one who should be sorry, Lucy! Y-You and dhe girls… and Dru… all of you, you didn’t deserve dat! You just vanted to _help_! And all I did vas hide away– ”

“_Gru_.” Lucy snaps. She grips his shoulders, suddenly serious. “You were _grieving_. You just told me, he was your best friend for more than half of your lifetime! He’d known you for so long and then he _died_! You don’t just think clearly when that happens! It’s impossible! I understand completely why you wanted to– !”

“Lucy, don’t make dat my excuse,” Gru counters, taking Lucy’s hands off his shoulders and squeezing them. He furrows his brows now, mirroring Lucy’s seriousness. “I _hurt_ you. I hurt all of you! I did! Dhe girls missed me, Dru missed me, you all missed me! I should have seen dat! I should have gone to you, like you said! And _vhat_ did I do instead? I shut myself away so I’d never see any of you again– ”

“It’s not an excuse! I’m not using it as an excuse, Gru! I’m just saying that_ I_ should never have attacked you for it! You were right,_ I_ had no idea what you were feeling! You were completely right to get mad at me– !”

“No I vasn’t!” Gru snaps, “Don’t tell me I vas right to yell at you! I should have listened to you! I should have shut up and come back! But I didn’t! I just ran away like some pathetic– !”

“GRU!”

Lucy stares him down, watching him flinch and jump backwards at her outburst. She breathes heavily, clenching her teeth together. Then she averts her gaze, throwing his hands down to cover her mouth, preventing yet another sob from escaping.

_“Stop it. Just stop it,”_ she scolds herself, _“You can’t just keep crying. You’re never going to learn anything if you don’t just stop.”_

“Ehh… Lucy?”

She winces, squeezing her eyes shut. Despite what she literally just told herself, her eyes begin leaking again.

Silence passes. Lucy waits for Gru to pick up where he left off, to say something she hasn’t heard yet. She waits for her own brain to turn back on. She waits for something to pop into her head, something that would fix all this, something that could convince him that he wasn’t the bad guy in this, _she_ wasn’t even the bad guy, that no one had had any real fault in this situation except their own emotions. It never comes.

“…I don’t even know what to think anymore…” Gru says, mirroring Lucy’s thoughts.

Lucy nods. “Mhm… Me neither…”

“I vas just… I couldn’t stand what I was hearing… b-back in dhe living room… I vas so angry… at Nefario for leaving me like dis, at _you_ for yelling at me… and then I got mad at _myself_ for getting mad at you…”

“But _why_, though?” Lucy asks, her voice barely above a whisper, “You were _right_ to get mad at me. I couldn’t see what you were going through, all I could think about was myself!”

Gru winces. “N-No, I didn’t mean… I don’t know what I was feeling. I vas just upset at everything and I ran out here but it all just… _ugh_, dis is so hard! I don’t know what to say! ”

“…I don’t think there’s even supposed to be a clear answer to this. It’s all pretty messed up. I mean, Gru…. Nefario _died_. It was completely out of nowhere. You didn’t have any time to prepare yourself. None of us did. I don’t think… there really isn’t a ‘right’ way to react to that.”

“Hmph… still wish I vasn’t so selfish… you missed me so much and I just couldn’t see it…” Gru scoffs then, suddenly bitter. He finishes quietly, “…some husband I am…”

It takes everything in Lucy not to snap at him for saying that. Instead, she lifts her eyes to look at him, dropping his left hand to caress his cheek.

“Gru,” she says, pouring every ounce of sincerity into her tone, “we’re _all_ hurting from this. We _all_ feel like we could’ve done something to help him. We _all_ messed up. And even if we didn’t… we still feel like we did. But… we won’t get anywhere if we just keep blaming each other for everything. We can’t move on if we do that. And you are _not_ a terrible husband. Don’t you ever think that. You’re the _best_ part of my life. You mean the world to me – and to everyone else. You’re the world to the girls, your brother a_dores_ you! That’s why we’ve been so worried about you. We want to help you because we hate seeing you like this. It kills us to see you so upset. We_ know_ it’s not you. So we just… we all just want to help you as much as we can. But we can’t do that if we keep… why are you laughing?”

Gru let out another wet chuckle at her question, leaning into her lingering hand. He sniffs and wipes at his eyes before looking at her again.

“It’s just…” He shuts his eyes and laughs, shaking his head. “…what did I ever do to deserve you…?”

Lucy blinks, not quite understanding. Then, when it finally clicks, she laughs too. It amazes her how easy it is. After What Happened – the mere concept of joy had seemed foreign. She’s certain that Gru feels the same way. How relieving it is, then, when she discovers that it still exists.

Lucy wipes away the tearstains, then leans forward and kisses her husband’s cheek. As she starts to pull away Gru places his hand on the back of her head and pulls her back, kissing her on the mouth. Lucy sighs and kisses back, the gravity of missing him for over a month hitting her with full force. She knows how much she loves him. She knows how much the girls love him, how much his brother loves him, hell, how much his thousands of tiny henchmen love him. She forgives him. She’s thrilled that _he’s_ forgiven_ her_. And though she knows in the back of her mind that this isn’t over, that they’ll still be grieving long after tonight – she lets herself have this moment of relief. She lets him have it. They both need it. She knows this.

Eventually, as much as she doesn’t want to, Lucy pulls away, taking in a deep breath. Gru does the same. Lucy smiles at him, and he does the same at her. She suddenly wants to laugh and cry at the same time.

It is then that Lucy realizes that she’s still holding onto his hand. His right hand. The hand he’d used to beat the tree just a few minutes ago.

Lucy’s smile falters as she brings his hand closer, looking it over. She’s relieved that she was wrong about how far his injury extended. In reality he’d only scraped up the tips of his knuckles, nothing more. It still doesn’t stop her from wincing at it, now that she can see it up close.

Gru groans. “…S-Sorry…” he says, averting his gaze, “…you saw me, didn’t you?”

Lucy nods as she runs her thumb over his knuckles. “Mm_hm,”_ she replies, “Mel told me. Looked out the window and came straight out here…. You were _really_ going for it, honeybear…”

Gru purses his lips and sighs. “…I couldn’t think about what to do. I just came out here because I thought it would clear my head, but… I vas still so angry that I just… I wanted to take it out on something…” He pauses to think. “…I stopped after I thought I vas bleeding. It just _hurt_. I think dat’s what made me snap out of it. It vas just adding onto the other pain…”

Lucy glances up at him, a small, genuine grin playing her lips. “...Well…” she says, patting the back of his hand, “…We’ll just have to power through it together, right?”

She immediately wants to take the comment back – no way he’d listen to something that optimistic, not even now, he’s made _that_ clear already – but, much to her relief, it manages to make him smile. He slowly nods, and Lucy’s heart flutters.

“Gru? Lucy?”

When she hears these familiar voices, it’s all Lucy can do to avoid squealing.

Both she and her husband look.

Dru and the girls stand just a few feet away, the door back into the house swinging wide open. The girls, dressed in their pajamas, are clustered around their uncle’s legs, and when Lucy looks closer, she can spy Mel the Minion hiding behind him, one yellow arm wrapped around Dru’s knees. They all stare up at Lucy and Gru, their eyes asking them to come down.

Lucy feels Gru’s hand tense up. She looks back at him and locks eyes with him, sending him a message that he’s certain to hear this time.

_“It’s okay. Go talk to them. You can do it.”_

He gulps, bites his lip; then, shutting his eyes, he nods.

_“…Okay…”_

Lucy releases his hand and pushes herself off the branch, holding her arms out to steady herself when she lands. Gru climbs down instead with sloth-like speed, hugging the tree trunk and crawling down it. Lucy sees him swallow hard again as he follows her, approaching the rest of his family.

As he nears them Gru clears his throat, mumbling “Ehm… Girls? Dru?”

Dru nods. “We’re all here, brother,” he says with a grin.

Gru gives him a curt nod of his own, then looks down. At his daughters. And Lucy sees his shoulders visibly droop.

_“You’ve got this, big guy.”_

He stares down at his daughters for a few beats. They stare back, apparently unsure if they should go to him.

“…Girls?” he asks finally, “Ehm… c-could you please come here?”

The three share wide-eyed glances, no doubt surprised to hear their father, Felonius Gru of all people, speak in such a soft voice. To hear him stutter. After a moment’s consideration though, they all shuffle forwards.

Gru kneels down to meet them. “Oh, girls…” he says, reaching out to stroke Margo’s head, “I… I’m so sorry… for all of this…”

Margo gives him a genuine smile, placing her own hand over his. “…’s okay, Gru,” she says, “We miss Nefario too.”

Edith nods, though she keeps looking at her feet. “Yeah…” she mutters, “…it’s not as much fun without him…”

“Oh Edith, I know, I _know_,” Gru jumps in, “And I’m so sorry I vasn’t around to help you. I vas…” He frowns. Lucy can feel his self-doubt from where she’s standing.

“…I’ve been a bad dad, haven’t I?”

Lucy barely keeps herself from snapping at him to stop with the negative talk. She wants to keep as far away from this conversation as possible. This moment belongs to Gru and his girls. _Their_ girls.

Agnes reacts the most to Gru’s question. “No no, Gru! You’re a great dad!” she says, rushing forwards to take his hand in her own tiny ones, “You’re the best dad! You’re just really sad right now. We still love you.”

Lucy can’t help herself. Upon hearing Agnes’s comments, her eyes well up again.

Gru seems to react the same way. He lets out a ragged breath, patting Agnes’s head just as he did with Margo. “Oh, and _Agnes_…” A shaky chuckle leaves him. “…That vas _such_ a good idea you had…. You are so thoughtful… I-I’m so sorry that I– ”

Then, he breaks.

The girls throw themselves at him, gripping his scarf and his jacket as if their lives depend on it. He catches them, nuzzling each of them and mumbling out more apologies. Dru, as the most sensitive of the family, bursts into tears at the same time that his brother does and then joins the group hug himself. Mel waddles over, says a few lines of gibberish into Gru’s ear, then snuggles into the embrace when Gru lifts his arm to let him in.

Lucy wanders over and bends over, wrapping her arms around her family. She shuts her eyes, and the tears inevitably fall down her face, yet she still smiles. The weight from the past month and two and a half weeks finally lifts. Just a little. Some of it still lingers, but somehow Lucy feels like she can breathe freely again. She’s certain that Gru feels the same way. As certain as she is that, even though the rain in his eyes is coming down hard right now, eventually it will pass and they will brighten once more.

**Author's Note:**

> ...I must apologize for any and all tears I might have induced with this story XD
> 
> This was originally written and posted on Fanfiction.net back in July of 2017. To this day it is still the longest one-shot I've ever written, and I still love it to pieces :)
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed! Thanks so much for reading
> 
> ~Pixel


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